Every 48 minutes another American child takes their life because their parents are getting a divorce or getting remarried. That's far more than die from drug overdoses. Maybe its time for parents to act like adults and begin to take seriously the effects of divorce on our children, like we have with drugs. In fact, maybe we should take a close look at the "war on drugs," as we look for solutions to teen suicide, depression, and violence.
Think about the way we view drugs in society. Drugs hurt those that are abusing them and they hurt those who love the abuser. Of course we don't blame the drugs, we attack the drug dealers of the world with ferocity. We go to every possible length to catch them, and give the dealers stiffer penalties when they're caught. As of a few years ago, the government even began to seize the assets of drug dealers. After all, why should they profit from this "blood money," right? Throw them in jail, throw the key away, and hit them where it hurts ... in the bank account. Anything else would be un-American: they're killing our kids.
All that sounds pretty good doesn't it? Really it seems to be having an effect on the number of kids dying from drugs, so let's see if we can apply it divorce. Do we go after these parents who walk away from their family responsibilities? That's what most people seem to think. After all, aren't the parents the ones causing this? Like the drug abusers they make their own decisions right? Not really. The parents are the equivalent to the drug abusers, and how do we treat drug abusers? We put them in treatment programs to teach them that there are alternatives. Life doesn't have to be a nightmare for you or your family anymore. But we don't do that with parents. In fact every time over the last few years that such educational and treatment programs have been before the General Assembly they seem to get shot down. Why? Because of the "dealers." They want to protect their "turf."
The dealers are the judges, lawyers, case workers, etc., that have turned the American divorce industry into a 258 billion dollar a year business. Check out fortune 500 to see how many other industries have had the same growth, in the same three decades. Ever thought about how many "college funds" go to pay for divorces? Is it more than the number of kids that don't go to college because they become "druggies"? I'll bet the Lawyer's (dealer's) kids could go to school forever.
And it doesn't stop there either. I remember my parents telling me, when I was a teen, about how if I started off trying marijuana it would soon lead into heavier stuff. The truth is that most drug dealers do exactly that hook kids on stronger stuff. They want you hooked on the hard stuff so they get repeat business (at least until you die).
Let's look again at the "divorce dealers." If they fan the flames high enough you'll be back in court every year till your kids go off to college. Of course your kids will go on government grants now. It's kind of like welfare for lawyers when you think about it, except that it's tax free because they "launder" it through your house. (Hey, that's just like drug dealers!) And there are other benefits too. Think of all the business from your kids. All studies show that most teenage criminals come from divorced (or never married) homes. For that matter most adult criminals do too. Just think of the financial hit the "dealers" would suffer from that.
Now I don't want to make it look like all attorneys are bad. A very few are great people who fight for change until they get disbarred. Some just stick their heads in the sand while their comrades do the dirty deeds, and we like to over look them as innocents. But remember that lawyers are self policing. Where do you take your complaints? To the Virginia State Bar of lawyers, so your case might go before the Virginia Supreme Court of lawyers. Think about it. If you were on your brother's jury, would you convict? Yet we expect them to be "self-policing." Let's do that for the drug dealers too. Oh, that's right. When drug dealers are "self policing" we call it gang wars, and write new laws to stop it.
Family law now comprises almost 50% of legal work. If we get tough on divorce, those "family" lawyers are going to be stepping on every other lawyers' toes. There's only so much work to go around. Not to mention that if we suddenly see a tremendous drop in crime because parents are being educated, and children are being raised in healthy, intact homes, then what are all the criminal lawyers going to do? We know that we would see a tremendous drop in crime, and crime doesn't pay ... unless you're an attorney. Then it pays pretty well. Ever heard of assets being seized before the lawyer got paid? Of course due process applies to drug dealers, not divorce courts. Heck, we might even have to lay off a few judges and magistrates.
But don't worry too much about the judges and lawyers. As Americans we take a stand against drugs, but we won't take a stand against divorce, which makes it five times more likely that your child will become addicted to drugs. Come to think of it, don't lawyers make money representing the drug dealers too? Nothing beats a "win, win" situation.
Brad Ingram is the founder and Chairman of National Cry for Children, and author of the upcoming book on marriage and families, Destroying the Image of God. Ingram can be reached at mbacon5@juno.com. For tapes of the November, 1999 NCC rally in Washington, DC, contact him.
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